


The walking dead crackfics and chatfics

by My_Veins_Are_Caffienated



Category: The Walking Dead (Telltale Video Game)
Genre: Brody is the groups mum, Crack, F/F, Grandpa Aasim, Mitch and Violet are besties im sorry, Stupidity, Textfic, Texting, chatfics, groupchat
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-24
Updated: 2019-05-27
Packaged: 2020-01-31 10:30:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 2,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18589441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/My_Veins_Are_Caffienated/pseuds/My_Veins_Are_Caffienated





	1. The Ericson kids are stUpiD

Violet: "Did it hurt when you fell?"

Clem: "From Heaven? Violet I know you're into me but-"

Violet: "I meant when you fell into your room. I watched you trip on your foot and just kinda lay there for ten ish minutes"

Clem:

Louis, pointing to the others: "We all saw it"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mitch: "Hey Vi"

Violet: "You Ffu you scared Willy almost to death"

Mitch: "Hey I wasn't hurt that badly"

Mitch: "Ruby said all my bleeding was internal. That's where bloods supposed to be"

Ruby: squints

Willy: crying and squinting

Violet: "How can you be so smart and so fucking stupid"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Louis: "Today is Violet's birthday which means we're going to have to throw my best friend the best birthdat party ever"

Marlon: "Yeah sure wait I thought I was your best friend"

Louis: "SHUSH ITS VIOLETS APPRECIATION DAY TODAY"

Violet: "I CAN HEAR YOU"

Louis: "GOOD"

Violet: "I HATE YOU"

Louis: "YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND THOUGH"

Violet: "MAYBE I HAVE STOCKHOLM SYNDROME"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Louis: "So I have these two rocks"

Mitch and Violet: "We threw them at you"

Louis: "Two of my friends have them to me"

Mitch and Violet:

Louis:"They're very good friends"

Louis: "OW"

Aasim: "Bullseye"

Louis: "My other friend Aasims has given me another rock, he's also a very good friend"

Everyone:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Omar: *making soup*

Louis: "Omar cook it faster I'm starvinnng"

Omar: "No IT HAS TO BE COOKED TO PERFECTION"

Louis: "BUT ILL DIE"

Omar: "THEN PERISH"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mitch: "Willy and I are so insinc we even finish eachothers..."

Violet: 👀

Willy: *staring blankly*

Mitch: "ssss"

Willy: "Sssss Bombs!!!"

Mitch: *sighs*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Louis: ".....I said it as a joke but.... it festered"  
Vi, Mitch and Aasim insinc: "As they all do"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tenn: "One of these days I'll say the f-word then you'll be sorry"

Violet, reading: "Sure Tenn"

Tenn: "A-and and the n-word"

Violet: "Okay Tenn" *still reading*

Tenn: "Just not today"

Violet: "Why's that Tenn" *hasn't looked up*

Tenn: "I'm nervous"


	2. Mitch, Violet and Clem

**They each have a parent/sibling like relationship with a kid so why not make them a trio Headcanons**

Mitch and Violet both fought harder to protect their kids/loved ones. (They both fought for everyone but Tenn and the twins more for Violet and Willy and a few younger kids who didn't make it for Mitch)

Around Erickson they are called the Parents™ (Louis made up the nickname)

When Mitch forgave Clem and AJ, Everyone cheered and a great friendship was formed.

Violet and Mitch used to be good friends but when she asked Minerva out, Minerva pleaded with Violet to not hang out with Mitch.

Tenn and AJ hang out with Willy even though they think he's weird, thanks to Vi, Clem and Bitch.

Mitch wingmaned Violet to Clem. People think that Mitch feels like a third wheel around Clem and Violet but he actually doesn't.

Mitch had a crush on Violet but knew it wasn't meant to be when Vi told him he's like her brother.

Mitch accepts his role as brother to Violet.

_**Can't think of anymore ÚwÙ** _


	3. Chatfic

**Saturday, 22:06**

**Louis created Ericson kids**   
**Louis added Violet, Marlon, Clementine, Tenn, AJ , Mitch, Brody, Ruby, Aasim, Omar and Willy**

**Louis changed 12 names**

**Purple: Fuck no**   
**Purple: Fuck you**

**Pianogenius: that's clems job**

**Orange: SosjajalawhWHAT**

**Purple: Say goodbye to your teeth**

**Mullet:** **aww** **is violet** **embwassed**

**Purple changed mullets name to** **RatBoi**

**RatBoi** **: well that's mature**

**Bitch: Kekekeke**   
**Bitch: Louis you're dead**   
**Bitch: Violet do you need help extracting his teeth**

**Purple: Why I'll gladly accept help Mitch**

**Pianogenius: hold on a minute folks**

**Bookyboi** **: Louis, no**   
**Bookyboi: I'm honestly not that bothered, but do you guys want even more help?**

**Bitch: Gladly**

**Purple: Sure** **Aasim**

**Orange: Take his organs**

**Pianogenius: WHAT NO GUYS**

**~1 week later~**

**Saturday, 19:32**

**Pianogenius** **: you** **guys are** **scawy**   
**Pianogenius: But alas I ESCAPE**

**Purple: Someone hold me back because I shall cripple him**

**Orange: Not me**

**Bookyboi: Not me**

**Yeehaw: Not me**   
**Yeehaw:** **LOUIS**

**RatBoi** **: Not me**

**Tennessee:,,,,,not me**

**Shootyshot** **: ??**   
**Shootyshot: no t me**

**Moody: not mE**   
**Moody: Louis what in god's name**

**SoupGod** **: Not me**

**Minibomb** **:Not me**   
**MiniBomb** **: @ bitch YOU HAVE TO MAKE SURE VIOLET DOESN'T KILL** **LOUIS**

**Bitch: WHAT**

**Pianogenius:** **PR0T3CT** **M3**

**Purple: I'm going to find you**

**Orange: Who else hears Vi running down the hall chanting** **Oogity** **Boogity**

**Bitch: me**

****Bookyboi: me** **

****Yeehaw: Not me** **   
****Yeehaw: LOUIS CHANGE MY NAME** **

****RatBoi: Me** **

**Moody: Me**

****Tennessee: I do** **

****Shootyshot: me** **

****SoupGod:  me** **

****Minibomb: me** **

**Pianogenius:** **MITCH** **STOP HER**

**Bitch: n o**

**Yeehaw: I heard him scream**

**Pianogenius:** **HeLsjalahaha** **q**   
**Pianogenius: Hello**

**Orange: That was terrifying**

**Pianogenius: I have taken his phone**   
**Pianogenius: I'm sitting on his back**

**Bookyboi: Tell him to shut up**

**Pianogenius: he's says he loves you too**

**Yeehaw: Someone change may name now**

**Orange changed** **yeehaws name to** **Cowgurl**

**Cowgurl: I hate you**

**Monday,** **14:35** ****

**Orange** **: gUYS**

**Pianogenius** **: clemmy are you texting in class?!?!?** **:O**

**Orange** **: Chill it's only art, I don't need to pay attention**

**Moody** **: Watch her miss something** **important.**

**Orange** **: Anyway for any of you who weREN'T in third period with Mrs** **Y** **otsey**

**Bitch** **: oh this was so good**

**Ratboi** **: IM HERE NOW**

**Orange** **: Fantastic**   
**O** **range** **: aNYWAys**

**O** **range** **: so Violet, being Violet, was on her phone in class again**

**Bookyboi** **: I expected nothing less of her.**

**Bitch** **:** **yIkEs**

**Orange** **: and Mrs Yotsey saw her, but Vi had no idea**

**So Mitch and I were just frantically motioning for her to put it up but this poor poor child saw NONE OF IT**

**And** **Mrs Yotsey came up to her and S L A M M E D her hands on Vi's desk and Violet, our sweet Violet, just looks her** **D E A D** **in the eye and goes**

**Bitch** **:** **I** ' **m pissing myself cackling**

**Bitch:** **I almost went into cardiac arrest**

**Orange** **: In the most condescending tone possible,** **.,.,.,.**

**Orange** **: "Can I help you?" and Mitch just LOSES IT**

**Bitch** **:** **I'** **m sOrry It waS jUst So veRy**  
 **Bitch** :  **Violet is Chaotic Evil**.

**Pianogenius:** **hard RT**

**Ratboi** **: SOo what happened after that??**

**Orange** **: So Mrs Yotsey, over Mitch and all of our class just dying™, goes "hand it over." Violet, our fucking Violet..,,, pretends like she's gonna give it to her and when Mrs Yotsey goes to grab it she like jerks her wrist back** **.,.,.,..,**

**Bitch: IT WAS THE BEST THING** **IVE** **EVER SEEN**

**Orange: She got fricking 3 weeks detention and 3 days of exclusion**

**Orange** **: Guys Mrs Yotsey cAME IN HERE ASKING FOR** **VIOLET**

**Orange:** **"Violet Aldon was supposed to be in Exclusion but it seems she's gotten into my room and left before I could catch her. I was wondering if anyone here knows her or knows where** **or what she's going to do?"**

**Purple: FUCK SHE NOTICED MY YOINKING**

**Mitch: RUN VI RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN**

**Ratboi** **: oh my gOd**

**Pianogenius: i love her she's my platonic soulmate**

**Bitch: no me**

**Moody: OH MY GOD PARTNERS VIOLET JUST VROOMED DOWN THE HALLWAY OUTSIDE MY CLASS**

**Ratboi** **: IM DYING**

**Orange: I'm going to ask Mr Reynolds for a pass**

**Purple: SHOULD I HIDE**

**Bitch: I can't believe I'm missing this**

**Moody: RUN VI**

**Ratboi** **: Violet you made Brody a rule breaker I hope** **ur** **happy**

**Pianogenius** **:** **wheres mrs yotesy??**

**Orange: She's going past** **H26**   
**Orange: She sees me**   
**Orange: Guys What do I do**

**Purple: DISTRACT HER**

**Orange: HOW**

**Moody: Ask her about Birds**

**Bookyboi** **: They're her favourite things ever**

**Purple: Miss Martin is allowing me to hide in the nurses office because she thinks it's funny**

**Cowgurl** **: That's why we love miss Martin**   
**Cowgurl: Stay Safe Vi**

**Moody: You're parents are gonna be so mad once they here about this aren't they**

**Purple: Fuck em who needs them**

**Pianogenius: U probably need them**

**Purple: More like TheY NeeD** **MeE**   
**Purple: They do not**   
**Purple: Anyway what are they gonna do they already sent me here**

**Orange: True**

**Monday, 16:47**

**Purple: They called my parents**   
**Purple: bUt** **theyrE** **In** **TExAs**   
**Purple: bEat the SysTEm**

**Orange: What did they say**

**Purple: Not much really just that if they could come my dad would beat the life outta me**

**Moody: Vi :(**

**Bitch:** **Mo0d**

**Pianogenius: :D my famiiiliar would have probably come**

**Purple:** **Thats** **cause your family are rich and you don't do shit like this**

**Tuesday, 04:20**

**Bitch** **: Do y'all ever think about the fragility of human existence**

**Purple: Yes** **Mic All the time**

**Pi** **anogenius:** **Mitch** **Violet....,,.,**

**Ratboi** **: TWo great great peoples**

**Pianogenius: it** **is 4 IN THE MORNING**

**Purple:** **th3n** **why** **ar3** **y0u** **awak3**

**Pianogenius** **: YOU WOKE ME UP**

**Moody:get your angst under control you two. It's too early for this shit**

**Bitch: Says you**

**Moody: What**

**Purple: Your name is Moody**

**Moody: NOT MY FAULT**

**Pianogenius** **: hhskhsjdh**

**Orange** **: who FREAKING texted**

**Pianogenius: The flower and Bomb**

**Purple:** **IM SORRY I DONT CHECK THE TIME**   
**P** **urple:  ASLO**   
**W** **e literally share a room how did you not notice**

**Orange: Shush why are you even awake**

**Purple: I'm just** **thinkin**

**Bitch: About** **murder**

**Pianogenius: and that folks is why bitch and purple are terrifying**

**Moody: G U Y s**   
**Moody:** **pls** **for once be normal**

**Bitch: well violet?**

**Purple: Nah too much effort**


	4. The Ericson Gang are stupid con Lee and Kenny

  
Lee: "Alright Kenny we are the adults here. We're going to be respons-"

Kenny: *running around like a lunatic* "YEEEHAW"

Kenny: *hits someone*

Mitch: "Ow what the fuck man I'm gonna stick a bomb up your arse for that oW"

Kenny: "Can you actually make bombs?"

Mitch: "Yeah wh-"

Kenny: *hugging him* "NEw SoN"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
Kenny and Lee interrogating Violet

 

Kenny: "I assume you know why we called you here" *shines a flashlight in her face

 

Violet: "I don't Ow what the fuck"

 

Lee: "You're dating Clem right?"

 

Violet: "Yeah and so what? You got a problem with that?!"

 

Kenny: "Feisty Clem must like that huh"

 

Lee: "Kenny dude what"

 

Violet: "Anyway get that fucking flashlight out of my face before I shove it up a place that flashlights don't belong"

 

Lee: *slams hands on table* "Kenny do as she says"

 

Kenny: *lowers it slightly"

 

Lee: "Anyway Miss Violet. IF YOU HURT CLEM IN ANYWAY I WILL KILL YOU CAPISH?"

 

Violet: "MR LEE EVERETT SIR I'D NEVER DO A THING TO HURT YOU DAUGHTER SIR I LOVE HER"

 

Kenny: "GOOD"

 

Kenny: "uh you can't get her pregnant right?"

 

Violet: "No Kenny I can't"

 

Kenny: *grins* "I give you my blessing"

 

Violet: "uh thanks"

 

Lee: "As her first parental unit I also give my blessing. Treat her right Violet or else"

 

Violet: * sarcastic voice* "Yes sir" *exits*

 

Lee: "I think that went well"

 

Kenny: "I do too I think I learned Clems type"

 

Lee: "Hmm?"

 

Kenny: "Clem likes feisty people who love her"

 

Lee: "Kenny go play with your bomb child"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
Kenny: "Hey kiddos what are you gonna blow up today?"

 

Mitch: "Who knows. Every class is a chance to blow something up"

 

Aasim:"Or just set it on fire"

 

Mitch and Aasim high five

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ruby: "Louis was talking about you today said he ran into you on the way to the piano room"

Clementine: “Yeah literally ran into me he knocked me over then called me a human bowling pin.”

Ruby: "That does sound like Louis"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Louis: "Let’s make a deal, I stay here with Valentina until she finishes her food so you can get Ruby to dress your wound"

Violet: “uh Valentina?”

Louis:“Sorry, I stay here with Vicky and wait till—“

Violet: *kicks him*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Clementine, drinking some medicine thing:“that tastes like arse.”

 

Ruby:“And how would you know what that tastes like missy"

 

Clementine, turning to Brody: “I don’t, but if I were to ask Marlon/ Mitch*I’m sure he’d say it taste like aspirin."

 

Bright red Brody: "He has not - We have not- EW NO GROSS"

 

Clementine: "I never said anything about you"

 

Ruby: "Well I'll be darned you sure rilled Brody up there"

 

Brody, huffing: "I'm not riled up!!!"

 

Clementine: "Uwu I'm sorry Want me to kiss it better?"

 

Brody: “You can kiss my arse"

  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If Louis was in the cave

Clementine: "This cave is so dark. We need a light sour-"

Louis: "Don't worry Clem" *stomping his light up Sketchers ™* "I got is covered"


	5. Chatfic dos

**Sunday, 16:50**

 

**Pianogenius added** **BeanieBoy** **, Pudding , Quackers and Anxiety™**

 

**Orange: Hey duck**

 

**Quackers: Kenny misses you Clem**

 

**Orange: I saw him like yesterday**

 

**Quackers: I told him that and he told me to shut up**  
**Quackers: My dad likes Clem more than me**

 

**Bitch: Understandable**

 

**Quackers: You really live up to your name you know that**

 

**Pianogenius: h e does**

 

**Purple: I like my women like I like my lamps**

 

**Purple: C O V E R E D  I N  B E E S?**

 

**Orange: HELLO WHAT THE FUCK**

 

**Moody: 999 we have an emergency**

 

**Pianogenius: Vi r u okay**

 

**Purple: Tis a wonderfull morning Louis**

 

**Pianogenius** **: volet happy? who r u**

 

**Moody: how are you overlooking the** **fcat** **it's 17:00**

  
**Purple: Beep hoop**

**Bitch: VIOLET ARE YOU GETTING HIGH WITHOUT ME**  
**Bitch:** **fcats**

**Shootyshot** **: I heard violet run past my room**  
**Shootyshot** **: Louis change my name no w**

**Pianogenius: Alright alright kiddo**

**Orange: BE NICE AJ**

**Shootyshot: no**

**Pianogenius: :O**

**Pianogenius changed shootyshot** **'s** **name to Goofball**

**Goofball: yoU BettEr WaTch YoURseLf**

**Purple:** **haamahaJaj** **nice one little man**

**Moody: Back to Vi is she okay**

**Purple: haha no**

**Orange: Somehow that's the scariest thing she's ever said**

**Bloodredhair** **has entered the chat**

**Bloodredhair** **: Violet is with me**

**Anxiety ™:** **Uwu** **That's noT GooD**

**Bloodredhair: she won't shut up about Clementine**

**Bitch: Smack her**

**Orange:** **wa** **y**

**Bloodredhair: I did she just said that it wasn't as strong as Clementine's slap**

**Orange: I've never slapped her!**

**Tennessee: Wrong**

**Bookyboi: Incorrect**

**Minibomb** **: no**

**Orange:** **wh**

**Tennessee: Remember when Vi stubbed her toe and wouldn't quiet down, and she was swearing like a sailor.**

**Bookyboi: You devised a plan to shut her up which was just you smacking her.**

**Orange: OH YEH**

**Minibomb** **: She SWORE EVN** **MORW**

**Bloodredhair: Yeah she's high**

**Bitch: BITCH**

**Bloodredhair** **: She muttered Mic is gonna be so mad and fell asleep**

**Monday, 06:00**

**Bookyboi changes his name to Aasim**

**Aasim: Which one of you fucking Heathens is blasting Queen at 06:00?**

**Bitch: not me**

**Purple: Nor me**

**Pianogenius** **: htey're lying i can hear the giggles**

**Piano: guys stop upsetting Grampa Aasim**

**Aasim: I'm not a grandad.**  
**Aasim: SEE YOU LATER VIOLET**  
**Aasim: SEE YOU LATER** **MITCH**

**Orange: He's gonna kill you**

**Bitch: Violet droped her phone but she says** **YEEEEHAWWW**

**Orange: GO TO FUCKING SLEEP**

**Pianogenius: sure Aasim isnt a** **granmap** **like Brody isn't our mum**

**Tuesday, 04:20**

**Bitch** **: Hewwo is anybody** **thewe** **???**

 

**Purple** **: *cave slowly begins to fill with water***

 

**Bitch** **: H-hewwo pwease somebody hewp me H-ewwo!!** **HEWP** **ME HEWP**

 

**Purple** **: *you can feel the surface of the water lapping at you***

 

**Bitch** **: Nononono hewwo!! Hewwo! Hewp me**

 

**Purple** : **God wwest youw sowwl**

 

**Bitch** **: Hewwo! Ma’am why awe you doing this to me Hewwo!! Hewp me** **pwease** **PWEASE**

 

**Purple: *you see** **obama** *****

 

**Bitch** **: M-mr obwqama is that you Hewwo! Pwease hewp me i seem to be in a wittle bit of twubble mr obama hewwo H-hewwo**

 

**Bitch:** **Mr Obwama pwease**

 

**Bitch** **: Pwease Mr Obwama Pwease save me I downt wanna die**

 

**Bitch** **: H-hewwo mr obwama awe you still thewe**

 

**Purple: .....**

 

**Bitch** **: M-mr obwama pwease im drowning H-hewwo im scawed**

 

**Bitch** **: Ill doing anything fow you mr obama pwease hewp**

 

**Purple** **: Anything?**

 

**Bitch** **: Anything for you mr obama :3** **ÚwÙ <3**

 

**Purple** **: Then** **pewish**

 

**Moody: GO TO FUCKING SLEEP YOU** **HOOLGANS**

 

**Pianogenius: look you** **asshats** **u made mum** **mad**

 

**Wednesday, 03:43**

  
**Purple: I scream** **internally**

**Bitch: And I scream externally**

**Purple: And together we**

**Bitch: Need therapy**


	6. BTW this is also on wattpad

<https://www.wattpad.com/story/183806429-twdg-crack>

 

This book was first released on Wattpad owo its got more shit on it

 

 

My laptops being funny so images arent being uploaded ikr arsehole


	7. How did Tenn and the twins get sent to Ericksons

This is probably gonna be a stretch but eh

We all are wondering how Tenn got those burn marks so

I feel like before Tenn was 'adopted' (I think) Minerva and Sophie's parents were neglectful and stuff (could have been religious and Homophobic)

They also didn't like the Twins interest in the arts

So they adopted Tenn so they could have a 'perfect' child.

But Tenn took an interest in art (yeah I know all kids usually like to draw but yknowed)

Meanwhile Sophie and Minerva are desperate for their parents accidentally light a fire in their house

Their parents evacuate from the house leaving The Twins and Tenn trapped.

Tenn gets burned as they escape.

Somehow Sophie and Minerva are a-okay

Until their parents scream at them and send them to Ericsons straight after Tenn is healed

 

I feel like it's a stretch but eh


	8. Dick energy

**Big Dick Energy**

Clementine  
AJ  
Violet  
Mitch  
Lilly  
Minerva  
Ruby  
Willy

**Average Dick Energy**

Louis  
Aasim  
Brody  
The Raiders  
Abel

**Small Dick Energy**

James  
Marlon  
Tenn  
  


**Transcends dick energy**

S O U P  G O D OMAR


End file.
